The Empty Box

<app>http://putative.typepad.com/putative/2007/01/fedex_refuses_s.html
<app> you are not allowed to ship empty containers by fedex
<PlasticYakuza> this isn't a surprise.
<PlasticYakuza> I think the last part sums it up
<PlasticYakuza> I sympathize with people who aren't making very much and are probably forced to comply with arcane corporate rules and who have to deal with weirdoes coming in with cans labeled "Rocket Fuel."
<app> whenever i ship fragile things, i seal them in cans
<Krishean> i should print up that box of aids label from 4chan and see if they will ship an empty box with that stuck on it
<app> lol
<app> mail it to plastic
<PlasticYakuza> lol
<PlasticYakuza> I need to ship your guys stuff. I will try to get apps done monday.
<Krishean> fedex guy: whats in the box? me: nothing, its absolutely empty
<app> hell...imagine if we just kept shipping it out to each other till we all had it for a little while?
<PlasticYakuza> I got a few random things I have to throw together for krish now
<app> the aids box that traveled the world
<PlasticYakuza> lol
<Krishean> <i turn it upsidedown and shake it with the top open to show there is nothing in it>
<PlasticYakuza> AY: Spreading AIDS around the world since 2007
<app> lol
<Krishean> lol i could put an empty soup can (with no top on it) and paste a label on it that lists the exact percentages of gases in the atmosphere, similar to the ones listed in that article
<Krishean> contains: nitrogen %, oxygen %
<Krishean> etc
<PlasticYakuza> If I worked at fedex and someone came in there with something like that I would tell them "No"
<PlasticYakuza> and probably flip out if they wanted to open it.
<Krishean> lol
<Krishean> i'd come in with the top clearly open
<Krishean> and the soup can clearly empty with no lid on it
<PlasticYakuza> being in the customer service field you learn that there are a lot of really fucking weird people out there.
<Krishean> top of the box clearly open
<Krishean> box of aids label clearly pasted on the side
<Krishean> of the box
<PlasticYakuza> and just because they say "oh it is just the chemicals in the air" they may have added an extra one that the voices in his head convinced him was really in the air
<PlasticYakuza> and that everyone needed to breath more of it
<Krishean> lol
<PlasticYakuza> when I worked at a Kay Bee Toys
<Krishean> "you better stop breathing now because we're all surrounded by these gases every day of out life from birth to death"
<PlasticYakuza> this woman came in with lye
<Krishean> day of our
<PlasticYakuza> and started dousing the toys with it
<PlasticYakuza> "to find out which were the real ones"
<Krishean> were the police called and she put in a nice padded room?
<PlasticYakuza> the rent-a-cops tackled her in the food court once she made a run for it
<PlasticYakuza> was awesome

<Krishean> i know something that i could try shipping that would throw them for a loop
<app> oh no
<Krishean> have a can that has a bright warning label on it that says "warning: may contain air"
<PlasticYakuza> lol
<app> lol
<app> i could ship a can that says "Surprise in a Can"
<Krishean> on the inside bottom of the can it says "suprise its air"
<PlasticYakuza> "Caution: Dehydrated Water"
<Krishean> lol plastic
<app> put a few skulls on the label
<PlasticYakuza> but a lable on a box that says "Its a trap." then put a tarp inside and say its a typo.
<Krishean> danger: condensed water vapor
<Krishean> lol
<Krishean> put a picture of a tarp on the box
<Krishean> hey
<app> lol

<PlasticYakuza> lol
<Krishean> you could go into photoshop and design an entire package label for a tarp, with images and everything, but replace every instance of "tarp" with "trap" in the text

Krishean> "i vant to svip a trap"
<PlasticYakuza> LOL
<Krishean> <heavy russian accent>
<app> wait...can it be shipped by a company? (appstrapps.com)
<Krishean> "a trap! a trap!"
<Krishean> and show them a tarp
<Krishean> appstarps
<app> followed by a guy behind you that wants to ship a 'tarp' and it's a trap?
<Krishean> lol
<Krishean> a small mouse trap
<app> yup
<app> with cat toy mouse
<Krishean> computer mouse
<app> no...has to look like a real dead rodent
<Krishean> hopefully the guys working there will be bright enough to realize its a joke by then
<Krishean> nah i think it would be funnier if it was a computer mouse
<Krishean> could have like a candid camera moment
<app> would have to be one of those mini mouses for laptops
<app> or a big rat trap
<app> so...who is going to mail out what to who?
<Krishean> guy that wants to ship a "trap" actually wants to ship a tarp, guy behind him wants to ship a tarp, but its a small mouse trap with a computer mouse stuck in it
<app> and some guy that wants to ship a box of aids
<Krishean> lol
<Krishean> when its just an empty box
<app> or how about a really big box that has a caution label on it that says 'anthrax'
<app> and an anthrax cd inside
<Krishean> lol a refridgerator box
<app> lol
<Krishean> full size
<Krishean> with a cd in it
<app> mail it to the riaa
<app> with a post-it note on the cd asking for a refund
<Krishean> lol
<Krishean> that would be funny

0 comments: