<edvard> the day before trump was elected, i had a dream that my job was managing a room full of trump clones that were to be used if he were assasinated
<edvard> they kept walking around the room talking to each other about "deals"
<edvard> as if they really enjoyed talking to someone that was truly, fundamentally, "on their level"
<edvard> because clones lol
<edvard> but it got me thinking
<edvard> what if you had a clone of yourself to talk to?  would you actually talk, or just nod at each other knowingly...
<w3bcrawler> plot twist: it wasn't a dream
<edvard> D:

Yes, I have a dark side

<SynAckRst> I am now aware of April's secret obsession that keeps her occupied
<SynAckRst> haha
<app> :P
<Stephen66> finding pictures of small homes she can runaway from her husband and live in?
<Stephen66> :P
<SynAckRst> April has a dark side
<SynAckRst> hahaha
<app> you mean you just figured that out?
<SynAckRst> Nah, I knew you had it
<SynAckRst> It is just weird to see it on display
<SynAckRst> haha
<SynAckRst> Almost like when Jesse talks on here or posts on doco
<SynAckRst> We all know it happens, but still
<app> :)


<SynAckRst> .slap Stephen66
* sjBot slaps Stephen66
* Stephen66 stabs SynAckRst
* SynAckRst slaps Stephen66 with a trust fall
<Stephen66> sjBot: give SynAckRst a present
* sjBot gives SynAckRst a doll filled with grenade parts.
<SynAckRst> sjBot: Give Stephen66 a present
* sjBot gives Stephen66 the remnants of josh's twin.
<SynAckRst> hahaha
<w3bcrawler> lol
<edvard> best sjbot present chain ever
<Stephen66> sjBot: give edvard a present
* sjBot gives edvard everything w3bcrawler ever wanted.
<edvard> oh gawd
<Stephen66> Edvard just got nudes of mouser!
<SynAckRst> hahaha
<edvard> now i have a room full of weed, a slick new laptop, and there's a girl in my house im going to have to get rid of before my wife gets home D:
<w3bcrawler> lol edvard knows me so well

The Vaping Bot

<edvard> sjbot > do you vape?
<sjBot> Yea I do.
<edvard> damn, errbodys vapin
<edvard> sjbot > what do you vape?
<sjBot> Everything.
<edvard> sjbot > do you vape socks?
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> O_O
<edvard> sjbot > how do you vape socks?
<sjBot> I don't care.
<Deozaan> He wasn't kidding.
<edvard> totally
<edvard> damn, that's hardcore vapin
<Deozaan> sjBot > do you vape stained undies?
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> >_<
<edvard> sjbot > can you vape while paragliding?
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> damn... talent
<Stephen66> sjBot > do you vape dead kittens?
<sjBot> Only for breakfast.
<Stephen66> LOL
<edvard> XD
<Stephen66> sjBot > do you vape through your penis
<sjBot> *moooore hugs*.
<Stephen66> wut
<edvard> o_O
<Stephen66> sjBot > do you vape chicken eggs
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> sjbot > what's the best vape?
<sjBot> You.
<edvard> O_O
<edvard> ok, this conversation is over

3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9

<w3bcrawler> The 6th Gen Intel Core m3, i5, and i7 processors inside Surface Pro 4 are not only more powerful, they’re quieter, run cooler, and are more efficient than before. It's that kind of performance—plus impressive battery life of up to 9 hours
<w3bcrawler> holy shit, that's 3, 4, 5, 7 and 9 in one sentence D:
<w3bcrawler> and 6
<w3bcrawler> as always, microsoft decided to skip 8 for the greater good... lol
<w3bcrawler> maybe not 1 sentence, but 1 breathless marketing doublespeak

Satan's Spinach

<_Jones__413> Still think Satan's Spinach, aka "Mary-Jean" is safe? Think again! Crystal was given a cannibas "doobie token" by a Mexican man at the local discotheque, and just 18 months on, she has just discovered she is 3 months pregnant. 
<_Jones__413> You have a puff of mariguanas at a party, just for 'fun'. You are not dead yet , you even function at some of the brain power you had before you toked. Ten years later you are putting your deformed children into bed (weeds cause severe warping of babies) when you feel a furry growth creep up your back. The transformation has BEGUN
<_Jones__413> Have you never questioned how MARIGUANA is formed in the first place ? Mexican drug dealers have hundreds of so called "farms" in which men like Steve are forced to spend the rest of their days, rejected by society and slowly caressed by Juan as he gets his fix .


<edvard> “Your colleagues are increasingly meta, so it's important that we taper accordingly.”
<edvard> “We need to move now. Our competitors already open the kimono epic Big Data.”
<edvard> :D
<Stephen66> “This product will re-imagine vector and demonstrate turnkey performance in bandwidth.”
<edvard> lol @ "open the kimono"
<edvard> gag what drivel... but you see it in tech marketing all the time
<Stephen66> “As part of our review of industry, we have decided to move forward with sustainable passion. Skate to where the puck is going to be.”
<Stephen66> Kinda makes sense
<Stephen66> In a "speak fucking English" kind of way
<edvard> aaaaaaaaand the puck is out of this meeting and down the street to a better job
<edvard> “I'm disappointed in the way we push the envelope our incubator. Let's please disrupt our efforts.”
<w3bcrawler> business is laden with bullshit words lol
<Stephen66> “If we innovate, we will unfortunately be lagging in robust content marketing.”
<Stephen66> Yep...Innovation does that......lmao
<edvard> HAHAHAHA
<edvard> “People, in the coming year, we need to holistically silo our face time.”
<edvard> yeah, come here and i'll silo your face time... holistically
<Stephen66> “The tax-and-accounting department has issues with the agile way you literally treated this epic transaction.”
<w3bcrawler> lol
<Stephen66> LOL
<Stephen66> “As part of our review of incubator, we have decided to move forward with turnkey ideation. Yolo.”
<edvard> tax-and-accounting dept: constant buzzkill
<Stephen66> YOLO
<edvard> XD!!!!
<edvard> “People, in the coming year, we need to horizontally transform our low-hanging fruit.”
<edvard> O_O
<Stephen66> “I'm disappointed in the way we circle back our mindshare. Let's please open the kimono our efforts.”
<w3bcrawler> so... sex change?
<Stephen66> let's open the kimono and show our low-hanging fruits...YOLO
<edvard> holistically with robust passion
<edvard> for our early adopters
<edvard> XD
<Sjc1000> "let's open the kimono and show our low-hanging fruits...YOLO "  - adding this to the quote list
<Stephen66> “This sector has epic face time. Yolo.”
<edvard> hey man, skate to where the puck is going to be
<Stephen66> sounds like a hipster talking about the new iPhone
<Stephen66> lol
<edvard> totally
<edvard> “As part of our review of community, we have decided to move forward with amazing transformation. It is what it is.”
<edvard> in other words "Let's do it!! meh, mebbe not"

Pocketless Pitas Are Like…

<app> i am eating
<Setsuna-Xero> and somewhere share is hungry
<app> Kofta burgers with Tzatziki
<Setsuna-Xero> heh
<Setsuna-Xero> I've got taro and veggies to steam
<Setsuna-Xero> and chickens in the oven
<app> the meat is seasoned with coriander, cumin, cinnamon, allspice, ginger, black pepper, cayenne pepper, garlic, onion, and parsley
<app> i mixed up the meat this morning and let it sit in the fridge all day
<Setsuna-Xero> nice
<app> the pitas i picked up suck though...too thin
<Setsuna-Xero> ...that IS what she said
<Setsuna-Xero> :O
<app> lol
<app> i was going to use the ones i had in the freezer, but they are pocketless (bought for eating with hummus)
<Setsuna-Xero> ...pocketless pitas?
<Setsuna-Xero> thats like a lubeless vag
<Setsuna-Xero> and an eversoft cock...