3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9

<w3bcrawler> The 6th Gen Intel Core m3, i5, and i7 processors inside Surface Pro 4 are not only more powerful, they’re quieter, run cooler, and are more efficient than before. It's that kind of performance—plus impressive battery life of up to 9 hours
<w3bcrawler> holy shit, that's 3, 4, 5, 7 and 9 in one sentence D:
<w3bcrawler> and 6
<w3bcrawler> as always, microsoft decided to skip 8 for the greater good... lol
<w3bcrawler> maybe not 1 sentence, but 1 breathless marketing doublespeak

Satan's Spinach

<_Jones__413> Still think Satan's Spinach, aka "Mary-Jean" is safe? Think again! Crystal was given a cannibas "doobie token" by a Mexican man at the local discotheque, and just 18 months on, she has just discovered she is 3 months pregnant. 
<_Jones__413> You have a puff of mariguanas at a party, just for 'fun'. You are not dead yet , you even function at some of the brain power you had before you toked. Ten years later you are putting your deformed children into bed (weeds cause severe warping of babies) when you feel a furry growth creep up your back. The transformation has BEGUN
<_Jones__413> Have you never questioned how MARIGUANA is formed in the first place ? Mexican drug dealers have hundreds of so called "farms" in which men like Steve are forced to spend the rest of their days, rejected by society and slowly caressed by Juan as he gets his fix .


<edvard> “Your colleagues are increasingly meta, so it's important that we taper accordingly.”
<edvard> http://projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014
<edvard> “We need to move now. Our competitors already open the kimono epic Big Data.”
<edvard> :D
<Stephen66> “This product will re-imagine vector and demonstrate turnkey performance in bandwidth.”
<edvard> lol @ "open the kimono"
<edvard> gag what drivel... but you see it in tech marketing all the time
<Stephen66> “As part of our review of industry, we have decided to move forward with sustainable passion. Skate to where the puck is going to be.”
<Stephen66> Kinda makes sense
<Stephen66> In a "speak fucking English" kind of way
<edvard> aaaaaaaaand the puck is out of this meeting and down the street to a better job
<edvard> “I'm disappointed in the way we push the envelope our incubator. Let's please disrupt our efforts.”
<w3bcrawler> business is laden with bullshit words lol
<Stephen66> “If we innovate, we will unfortunately be lagging in robust content marketing.”
<Stephen66> Yep...Innovation does that......lmao
<edvard> HAHAHAHA
<edvard> “People, in the coming year, we need to holistically silo our face time.”
<edvard> yeah, come here and i'll silo your face time... holistically
<Stephen66> “The tax-and-accounting department has issues with the agile way you literally treated this epic transaction.”
<w3bcrawler> lol
<Stephen66> LOL
<Stephen66> “As part of our review of incubator, we have decided to move forward with turnkey ideation. Yolo.”
<edvard> tax-and-accounting dept: constant buzzkill
<Stephen66> YOLO
<edvard> XD!!!!
<edvard> “People, in the coming year, we need to horizontally transform our low-hanging fruit.”
<edvard> O_O
<Stephen66> “I'm disappointed in the way we circle back our mindshare. Let's please open the kimono our efforts.”
<w3bcrawler> so... sex change?
<Stephen66> let's open the kimono and show our low-hanging fruits...YOLO
<edvard> holistically with robust passion
<edvard> for our early adopters
<edvard> XD
<Sjc1000> "let's open the kimono and show our low-hanging fruits...YOLO "  - adding this to the quote list
<Stephen66> “This sector has epic face time. Yolo.”
<edvard> hey man, skate to where the puck is going to be
<Stephen66> sounds like a hipster talking about the new iPhone
<Stephen66> lol
<edvard> totally
<edvard> “As part of our review of community, we have decided to move forward with amazing transformation. It is what it is.”
<edvard> in other words "Let's do it!! meh, mebbe not"

Pocketless Pitas Are Like…

<app> i am eating
<Setsuna-Xero> and somewhere share is hungry
<app> Kofta burgers with Tzatziki
<Setsuna-Xero> heh
<Setsuna-Xero> I've got taro and veggies to steam
<Setsuna-Xero> and chickens in the oven
<app> the meat is seasoned with coriander, cumin, cinnamon, allspice, ginger, black pepper, cayenne pepper, garlic, onion, and parsley
<app> i mixed up the meat this morning and let it sit in the fridge all day
<Setsuna-Xero> nice
<app> the pitas i picked up suck though...too thin
<Setsuna-Xero> ...that IS what she said
<Setsuna-Xero> :O
<app> lol
<app> i was going to use the ones i had in the freezer, but they are pocketless (bought for eating with hummus)
<Setsuna-Xero> ...pocketless pitas?
<Setsuna-Xero> thats like a lubeless vag
<Setsuna-Xero> and an eversoft cock...

"…all of a sudden your hero is a block swinging a phallus."

<Deozaan> Here's an interesting game jam: Make a game with a customized tileset, then swap the tileset with someone else. :P
<Deozaan> http://ludumdare.com/compo/2015/05/05/minild-59-swapshop/
<w3bcrawler> oh that is a good idea
<w3bcrawler> it'd be neat if it wasn't totally random though - ie everyone had their spritesheets made the same 'way'
<Deozaan> It would be neat if it was collected into a huge collection and you could swap spritesheets at will for any of the games.
<w3bcrawler> "Are we allowed to submit multiple spritesheets?"
<w3bcrawler> "Please do! Just dont do more than one with dicks"
<w3bcrawler> i could see that being a problem.
<w3bcrawler> swap spritesheets, all of a sudden your hero is a block swinging a phallus.

Is there such thing as too much coffee?

<w3bcrawler> well i am officially tired
<w3bcrawler> i poured my boiling water into my jar of instant coffee rather than my cup.
<Deozaan> Maybe your body just knew you needed THAT MUCH coffee?
<w3bcrawler> i wonder what would happen if i drank it lol
<w3bcrawler> http://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-futurama-fry-ayYgZePVdvPUI
<Deozaan> http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdzp2e4uX21r0zsrqo3_500.gif
<w3bcrawler> lmfao!
<w3bcrawler> such an awesome show

Everyone in Sweden gets paid in SEKs

<Deozaan> What the carp is a SEK?
<Deozaan> This bandcamp album costs 56 SEK.
<Deozaan> https://wintergatan.bandcamp.com/album/wintergatan
<Deozaan> ~$6.50 USD
<w3bcrawler> people might misunderstand if you tell them they are owed Y SEKs
<Deozaan> Why SEKs? :P
<Deozaan> "Why not?"
<w3bcrawler> it could be a new payment option on donationcoder
<app> Swedish Krona
<w3bcrawler> aha
<Deozaan> I should start accepting payment in SEKs.
<app> if you started your own bank and allowed people to exchange their USDs for SEKs, would that make you a prostitute?
<w3bcrawler> how would that work if someone wants to deposit SEKs in the ATM
<app> and if you filmed it, would it be considered porn?
<w3bcrawler> swedish bitcoins.. cyberSEKs.
<Deozaan> O_o
<Deozaan> CryptoSEKs.
<w3bcrawler> lmao
<w3bcrawler> crypto- makes it sound so devious.
<app> just think...all the Swedish porn stars get paid in SEKs
<Deozaan> Is that consensual SEKs?
* Deozaan is suddenly reminded of the "ma na ma na" song.
<w3bcrawler> everyone in Sweden gets paid in SEKs.
* w3bcrawler packs his bags
<app> lol
<Deozaan> No wonder it's the happiest place on the planet!

Windows 8 is Painful. Here's How Microsoft Can Fix It…

<mouser> om windows 8 is painful
<w3bcrawler> indeed
<w3bcrawler> my dad got a new laptop a few weeks ago and it came with w8
<w3bcrawler> it's quite the break from the usual windows user experience
<mouser> yes and a break in my sanity
<w3bcrawler> i just keep hitting the 'back' arrow until i get to a 'normal' desktop :D
<mouser> microsoft could solve this easily
<mouser> just voice detect screaming
<mouser> and when you hear screaming, go back to desktop
<w3bcrawler> or just concede victory to *nix
<w3bcrawler> it would be the sensible thing to do :D