<w3bcrawler> mmmm coffee
<w3bcrawler> how the hell do people not drink coffee
<Stephen66> w3bcrawler: people who don't drink coffee are not normal
<jns> the worst thing happened this morning
<jns> we have this expresso machine at work
<jns> usually i make 2 of them and add a tiny bit of water, which essentially turns it into regular coffee
<jns> today there was only one pod left
<w3bcrawler> double espresso + hot water is an Americano :)
<jns> my coffee is horribly watery
<mouser> first world coder problems
<mouser> :)
<jns> you don't understand...
<jns> it's monday morning!
<mouser> :)
<jns> this is a tragedy
<mouser> :)
<w3bcrawler> "Office closed: no more coffee pods"
<mouser> ragequit
<Stephen66> Refuse to work under those conditions
<Stephen66> It's inhumane and probably against the geneva convension
<mouser> its so bad that it has got john talking
<Stephen66> :')

<edvard> why is it that whenever someone in a horror movie is told "don't go in the basement" or "don't go in those woods after dark" or some such, the people go ahead and do it?
<GamingPhoeni> heh welcome to the 40 year old question edvard
<edvard> like in "the amityville horror" when the disembodied growling voice said "get... out..." i'd be like "UMMM, YEAH, NO PROBLEM.. THIS IS ME LEAVING... SEE YA NEVER!!!!!"
<edvard> i mean come on, even if the house cost me a million dollars, that is just not worth it
<edvard> no way you'll catch me arguing with a incorporeal voice about whose damn house it is
<edvard> nuh-uh
<edvard> nope

<edvard> so after the mexican ladies take out the rotten ones, they get conveyored to a flash cooker above some 15 ft diameter drums that are like 30 feet long and heated to 350 degrees
<edvard> the cooked potato is just mash now, and falls down on rollers that roll along the face of the gigantic hot drums, and people scoop potato that falls off and stick it back on the rollers
<edvard> as it rolls on the drums, a veeeeeeeerrry thin layer of potato is cooked onto the surface of the drums, and as they rotate, a long blade scrapes it off the back side, where it gets chopped up and sucked into the pack room
<edvard> in the pack room it gets ground down to a uniform size and dumped into a hopper where i would bag it
<edvard> run the bag through a sealer and the foreman would stack it and take it away on a forklift
<edvard> that was the first time i realized that the potato cubes in campbell's soup wasn't chunks cut from potatos, but potato flour formed in a cube shape
<edvard> D:
<Deozaan> O_o
<Deozaan> Potato noodles?
<edvard> i suppose you could do that too
<edvard> what was gross is in the pack room, the air is hot and full of potato dust, so you sweat and it sticks to your skin
<edvard> so when you went home, you were coated with a thin layer of potato
<Deozaan> Did you lick it off?
<edvard> aw hell no
<Deozaan> You could ahve been your own pringle every day
<edvard> now I'M feeling sick...
<Deozaan> just add a little sour cream and onion flavoring and you're good
<w3bcrawler> mmm pringlevard

<edvard> contemplating changing the air filter in my car
<edvard> i dread this job
<edvard> volkswagen makes it next to impossible to remove things for access to the air filter space
<edvard> seriously, it fully sucks
<edvard> <sigh> i better do this before it gets dark
* edvard puts on his man-pants and nitrile gloves
<edvard> actually, a real man wouldn'
<edvard> t wear gloves
<edvard> to fix his car
<edvard> or would he?
<edvard> why am i asking?
<edvard> why am i asking you people?
<edvard> ...
<sj1k> :D
<sj1k> us people
<sj1k> you racist
<edvard> yeah, im a-talkin ta yous
<edvard> hehe, til irc chatters are a race
<sj1k> the glorious IRC race
<edvard> IRC master race
<sj1k> Well, not exactly
<edvard> screw those skype plebs
<edvard> facebook messenger inferiors
<sj1k> we're all pasty, probably some kind of diseased, small framed or fat nerds
<sj1k> :P
<edvard> like i said... a race
<sj1k> :P
<edvard> ok, time to get off my pasty, diseased, fat ass and go change an air filter
<edvard> :P
<sj1k> :D
<edvard> bbiab

<w3bcrawler> inb4 SynAckRst comes out of the closet
<SynAckRst> :-D
<SynAckRst> I was never in the closet!
<SynAckRst> The closet has monsters
<SynAckRst> I got away from the closet as soon as I could
<SynAckRst> I hear that is where April hides her remaining taskbar icons that don't fit in her taskbar any longer
<w3bcrawler> lmao
<GamingPhoeni> App's Taskbar Closet Extender : )
<app> SynAckRst: when I run out of taskbar space, I just do this:

<sj1k> Man, turns out lots of things run freeBSD
<sj1k> Switch, BSD.  PS3/4,  BSD.  apple devices,  BSD.
<sj1k> the list goes on
<Deozaan> sj1k, BSD.
<sj1k> Deozaan, BSOD.
<sj1k> :P
<Deozaan> Microsoft Windows, BSOD
<franstam> yeah 1 letter makes heck of a difference doesnt it
<sj1k> Yeah, the difference between a bangin' operating system and an operating system going bang

<Deozaan> I think I'm developing Alzheimer's. :-(
<Deozaan> I was trying to refer to A Series of Unfortunate Events, but I couldn't remember the title. So I said something like An Incongruous Event of Systems.
<Deozaan> Then I fumbled around with other words trying to say the right thing.
<Deozaan> Basically what came out of my mouth was a series of unfortunate words.

<edvard> the day before trump was elected, i had a dream that my job was managing a room full of trump clones that were to be used if he were assasinated
<edvard> they kept walking around the room talking to each other about "deals"
<edvard> as if they really enjoyed talking to someone that was truly, fundamentally, "on their level"
<edvard> because clones lol
<edvard> but it got me thinking
<edvard> what if you had a clone of yourself to talk to?  would you actually talk, or just nod at each other knowingly...
<w3bcrawler> plot twist: it wasn't a dream
<edvard> D:

<SynAckRst> I am now aware of April's secret obsession that keeps her occupied
<SynAckRst> haha
<app> :P
<Stephen66> finding pictures of small homes she can runaway from her husband and live in?
<Stephen66> :P
<SynAckRst> April has a dark side
<SynAckRst> hahaha
<app> you mean you just figured that out?
<SynAckRst> Nah, I knew you had it
<SynAckRst> It is just weird to see it on display
<SynAckRst> haha
<SynAckRst> Almost like when Jesse talks on here or posts on doco
<SynAckRst> We all know it happens, but still
<app> :)

<SynAckRst> .slap Stephen66
* sjBot slaps Stephen66
* Stephen66 stabs SynAckRst
* SynAckRst slaps Stephen66 with a trust fall
<Stephen66> sjBot: give SynAckRst a present
* sjBot gives SynAckRst a doll filled with grenade parts.
<SynAckRst> sjBot: Give Stephen66 a present
* sjBot gives Stephen66 the remnants of josh's twin.
<SynAckRst> hahaha
<w3bcrawler> lol
<edvard> best sjbot present chain ever
<Stephen66> sjBot: give edvard a present
* sjBot gives edvard everything w3bcrawler ever wanted.
<edvard> oh gawd
<Stephen66> Edvard just got nudes of mouser!
<SynAckRst> hahaha
<edvard> now i have a room full of weed, a slick new laptop, and there's a girl in my house im going to have to get rid of before my wife gets home D:
<w3bcrawler> lol edvard knows me so well

<edvard> sjbot > do you vape?
<sjBot> Yea I do.
<edvard> damn, errbodys vapin
<edvard> sjbot > what do you vape?
<sjBot> Everything.
<edvard> sjbot > do you vape socks?
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> O_O
<edvard> sjbot > how do you vape socks?
<sjBot> I don't care.
<Deozaan> He wasn't kidding.
<edvard> totally
<edvard> damn, that's hardcore vapin
<Deozaan> sjBot > do you vape stained undies?
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> >_<
<edvard> sjbot > can you vape while paragliding?
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> damn... talent
<Stephen66> sjBot > do you vape dead kittens?
<sjBot> Only for breakfast.
<Stephen66> LOL
<edvard> XD
<Stephen66> sjBot > do you vape through your penis
<sjBot> *moooore hugs*.
<Stephen66> wut
<edvard> o_O
<Stephen66> sjBot > do you vape chicken eggs
<sjBot> Yes.
<edvard> sjbot > what's the best vape?
<sjBot> You.
<edvard> O_O
<edvard> ok, this conversation is over

<w3bcrawler> The 6th Gen Intel Core m3, i5, and i7 processors inside Surface Pro 4 are not only more powerful, they’re quieter, run cooler, and are more efficient than before. It's that kind of performance—plus impressive battery life of up to 9 hours
<w3bcrawler> holy shit, that's 3, 4, 5, 7 and 9 in one sentence D:
<w3bcrawler> and 6
<w3bcrawler> as always, microsoft decided to skip 8 for the greater good... lol
<w3bcrawler> maybe not 1 sentence, but 1 breathless marketing doublespeak

<edvard> “Your colleagues are increasingly meta, so it's important that we taper accordingly.”
<edvard> http://projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014
<edvard> “We need to move now. Our competitors already open the kimono epic Big Data.”
<edvard> :D
<Stephen66> “This product will re-imagine vector and demonstrate turnkey performance in bandwidth.”
<edvard> lol @ "open the kimono"
<edvard> gag what drivel... but you see it in tech marketing all the time
<Stephen66> “As part of our review of industry, we have decided to move forward with sustainable passion. Skate to where the puck is going to be.”
<Stephen66> Kinda makes sense
<Stephen66> In a "speak fucking English" kind of way
<edvard> aaaaaaaaand the puck is out of this meeting and down the street to a better job
<edvard> “I'm disappointed in the way we push the envelope our incubator. Let's please disrupt our efforts.”
<w3bcrawler> business is laden with bullshit words lol
<Stephen66> “If we innovate, we will unfortunately be lagging in robust content marketing.”
<Stephen66> Yep...Innovation does that......lmao
<edvard> HAHAHAHA
<edvard> “People, in the coming year, we need to holistically silo our face time.”
<edvard> yeah, come here and i'll silo your face time... holistically
<Stephen66> “The tax-and-accounting department has issues with the agile way you literally treated this epic transaction.”
<w3bcrawler> lol
<Stephen66> LOL
<edvard> HAHAHAHAHA
<Stephen66> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHALMFAO
<Stephen66> “As part of our review of incubator, we have decided to move forward with turnkey ideation. Yolo.”
<edvard> tax-and-accounting dept: constant buzzkill
<Stephen66> YOLO
<edvard> XD!!!!
<edvard> “People, in the coming year, we need to horizontally transform our low-hanging fruit.”
<edvard> O_O
<Stephen66> “I'm disappointed in the way we circle back our mindshare. Let's please open the kimono our efforts.”
<w3bcrawler> so... sex change?
<Stephen66> let's open the kimono and show our low-hanging fruits...YOLO
<edvard> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<edvard> holistically with robust passion
<edvard> for our early adopters
<edvard> XD
<Sjc1000> "let's open the kimono and show our low-hanging fruits...YOLO "  - adding this to the quote list
<Stephen66> “This sector has epic face time. Yolo.”
<edvard> hey man, skate to where the puck is going to be
<Stephen66> sounds like a hipster talking about the new iPhone
<Stephen66> lol
<edvard> totally
<edvard> “As part of our review of community, we have decided to move forward with amazing transformation. It is what it is.”
<edvard> in other words "Let's do it!! meh, mebbe not"

<Deozaan> Here's an interesting game jam: Make a game with a customized tileset, then swap the tileset with someone else. :P
<Deozaan> http://ludumdare.com/compo/2015/05/05/minild-59-swapshop/
<w3bcrawler> oh that is a good idea
<w3bcrawler> it'd be neat if it wasn't totally random though - ie everyone had their spritesheets made the same 'way'
<Deozaan> It would be neat if it was collected into a huge collection and you could swap spritesheets at will for any of the games.
<w3bcrawler> "Are we allowed to submit multiple spritesheets?"
<w3bcrawler> "Please do! Just dont do more than one with dicks"
<w3bcrawler> i could see that being a problem.
<w3bcrawler> swap spritesheets, all of a sudden your hero is a block swinging a phallus.

<w3bcrawler> well i am officially tired
<w3bcrawler> i poured my boiling water into my jar of instant coffee rather than my cup.
<Sjc1000> HAHAHAHAHA
<Deozaan> Maybe your body just knew you needed THAT MUCH coffee?
<w3bcrawler> i wonder what would happen if i drank it lol
<w3bcrawler> http://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-futurama-fry-ayYgZePVdvPUI
<Deozaan> http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdzp2e4uX21r0zsrqo3_500.gif
<w3bcrawler> lmfao!
<w3bcrawler> such an awesome show

<Deozaan> What the carp is a SEK?
<Deozaan> This bandcamp album costs 56 SEK.
<Deozaan> https://wintergatan.bandcamp.com/album/wintergatan
<Deozaan> ~$6.50 USD
<w3bcrawler> people might misunderstand if you tell them they are owed Y SEKs
<Deozaan> Why SEKs? :P
<Deozaan> "Why not?"
<w3bcrawler> it could be a new payment option on donationcoder
<app> Swedish Krona
<w3bcrawler> aha
<Deozaan> I should start accepting payment in SEKs.
<app> if you started your own bank and allowed people to exchange their USDs for SEKs, would that make you a prostitute?
<w3bcrawler> how would that work if someone wants to deposit SEKs in the ATM
<app> and if you filmed it, would it be considered porn?
<w3bcrawler> swedish bitcoins.. cyberSEKs.
<Deozaan> O_o
<Deozaan> CryptoSEKs.
<w3bcrawler> lmao
<w3bcrawler> crypto- makes it sound so devious.
<app> just think...all the Swedish porn stars get paid in SEKs
<Deozaan> Is that consensual SEKs?
* Deozaan is suddenly reminded of the "ma na ma na" song.
<w3bcrawler> everyone in Sweden gets paid in SEKs.
* w3bcrawler packs his bags
<app> lol
<Deozaan> No wonder it's the happiest place on the planet!

<mouser> om windows 8 is painful
<w3bcrawler> indeed
<w3bcrawler> my dad got a new laptop a few weeks ago and it came with w8
<w3bcrawler> it's quite the break from the usual windows user experience
<mouser> yes and a break in my sanity
<w3bcrawler> i just keep hitting the 'back' arrow until i get to a 'normal' desktop :D
<mouser> microsoft could solve this easily
<mouser> just voice detect screaming
<mouser> and when you hear screaming, go back to desktop
<w3bcrawler> or just concede victory to *nix
<w3bcrawler> it would be the sensible thing to do :D

<Metshrine> Mouser
<Metshrine> I hear the world is ending
<Metshrine> You added social media buttons to DC?!?!?
<mouser> DO NOT WANT
<mouser> stephen made me
<Metshrine> Welcome to the 21st century!
<Metshrine> Now move on to SMF 2.0 :-D
<Metshrine> You have exceeded Josh time on this one
<Metshrine> bwahahahaha
<app> of all the social buttons you could have added, you picked one of the most annoying?
<GamingPhoeni> where are these buttons?
<mouser> they are pretty, but annoying
<mouser> they are gone
<mouser> i couldnt keep them on any longer
<mouser> not after app told me to remove
<GamingPhoeni> I might have too if I wasn't gaming
<mouser> i try to do whatever stephen says to do
<GamingPhoeni> I hate those buttons
<mouser> but app overrides stephen
<mouser> :)
<GamingPhoeni> hehe
<GamingPhoeni> sudo remove buttons : )
<mouser> sorry steph, thats just the way the app crumbles
<mouser> we'll have to find some better buttons

<edvard> ive been dreaming about coding lately
* edvard is slightly disturbed
<edvard> because in my dreams, im trying to figure out some particularly gnarly problem, but it's a real-life problem and i grumble and get out my keyboard to try and fix it
<edvard> like a part of my house is broken, so i get out my keyboard and start coding house.fix();

<edvard> i have a script in my path called yay
<edvard> it prints out the message "well played, sir!"
<edvard> so when i successfully compile something, or a script runs correctly, i say "yay" and my computer congratulates me
<edvard> who needs ai when you have total compliance?